50 States of America
by Madame Scorpion
Summary: America has 50 kids, each with their own little quirks and personality's. This is the story of the 50 states and there crazy daily life, while Alfred tries his best to raise them all.
1. Delaware

Chapter 1: Delaware

Gabriel 'Delaware' Kirkland-Jones was the oldest and the peacekeeper of the 50 states. She looked like her father, with her lovely green eyes and blond hair that flowed down to her waist. The only part of her that didn't resemble her father were her eye brows which she was lucky to receive from her mother. Even though she looked like her father she was much more mature. A straight A student and President of her school and a scholarship to any collage in the US a person could think of. Gabriel had everything going for her; she was the perfect child, and any couple married or not would be glad to have her. She got along well with all of her siblings, her half-brother's and sisters included. Any problems that ever took place in the household she could immediately resolve.

But now was a time when Gabriel was in need of peacekeeping herself; that's why she was currently sitting on a bench outside the principal's office. Inside was her mother who was inside talking about Gabriel and her horrible crime.

When Alfred came out of the office, he turned to his daughter and looked at her with a disappointed expression. He sat beside her and wrapped his arm around her in a side hug, placing a small kiss on her forehead.

"Wanna tell me what happened, Princess?" he asked her resting his chin in her hair.

"Didn't already tell you?" she said in a confused voice.

America shrugged "Yeah, but that old bat couldn't tell the truth even if it jumped up and smacked her in the face." Delaware giggled "You're the last on to call someone old mama; you and me both are at least 6 times older than her."

Another shrug "True, but enough chit chat, tell me what happened."

Gabriel sighed into her mother's shoulder "Well this kid named Billy Bob called me an old hag and then-"

"What kinda name is Billy Bob?" America questioned interrupting his daughter. "I don't know, ask Texas of Oklahoma." She answered "Anyway then he called you a fag after he heard me tell one of my friends you were gay" she sighed after finishing her statement. "So I pretty much gave him 2 black eyes and dislocated his jaw, and may have also broken his nose."

"That's a good girl" Alfred chirped in response "That's the Jones way to handle someone who pisses you off."

"I guess" she grumbled not entirely knowing her mother would take it so well, if her father had been here he would have chewed her out for a good hour. There was a brief silence between the nation and his oldest child before she finally broke the silence.

"Are you gonna tell daddy?" she asked in a hopeful voice looking into her mother's baby blue eyes.

"For darn sure."

Well damn

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Hope you enjoyed! I'll update as soon as possible .


	2. Pennsylvania

Chapter 2: Pennsylvania

After Delaware had gotten in trouble at school Joseph 'Pennsylvania' Kirkland-Jones, had been able to get away with just about anything. He first spray painted Maryland's white roses purple, then he thought it a funny joke to put super glue on the toilet seat and South Carolina was stuck on the toilet for a good 4 hours. And so recently he had replaced Connecticut's lunch with a dead snake. Needless to say that America wasn't too pleased with this immature behavior. But he was too focused on making sure that no one else got into a fight at school.

Joseph was supposed to be the second oldest, but he sure didn't act his age. Anyone could always tell when he was up to something; his wheat blond hair would be tied up in a ponytail and his green eyes would always shine with mischief. He was the family troublemaker, and he let that be his only job.

As he sat at the breakfast table with his family, Joseph was hoping that he could get away with another thing; report cards. Most of the states were chatting with each other most talking about how they at least got C's. Joseph could only sit there in silence still wondering what his grades were. America was coming around the table passing out cheese eggs onto each states plate. Anyone who didn't want their eggs just gave them to Minnesota or the Texas twins, they were more than happy to take anyone's uneaten food. As his mother put the last bit of eggs on his plate, Pennsylvania couldn't help but complain like he always did.

"Mom, I wanted my eggs scrambled" he said looking into his mother's eyes. He only gave a nod back "Coming right up" and America simple took his spatula and chopped up the eggs that were cooked sunny side up. Joseph just grimaced at the beaten eggs and went back to eating the pancake that was left on his plate.

"Mommy scramble my cereal" Hawaii said holding up her tilted bowl, that spilled out her spoon and bits of cereal. America just gave a tired sigh "I'm sorry sweatheart, but I'm all scrambled out this morning; I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Mom you know what you need" New Mexico spoke up from the other end of the table "What we actually all can use; a nice soothing dog. A dog for all of us, a nice family dog."

Pennsylvania gave a chuckle "We already have a family dog" he said to his little sister "You."

The states around the table couldn't hold back a giggle, America and New Mexico were the only two that didn't look to happy with the insult "Joseph Kirkland-Jones that was mean, your sister doesn't ever call you names." Alfred spoke to his son from the kitchen doorway. New Mexico just shrugged it off and started playing with the left over eggs on her plate, which the oldest Texas twin was eyeing with a passion. "All I wanted was an animal who's name starts with the same letters as most of the grades on your report card, which you are getting today." She shot back slyly. Pennsylvania gave his sister a deadly glare in return.

"I'm assuming it will be a much better report card than last semester's" America said pouring more eggs on Minnesota's plate.

"Oh, I'm assuming the same thing" he replied back "But, you know teacher's grade you on some weird things"

"Like exams and paper's" Gabriel suggested.

"Exactly" he agreed. Delaware just shook her head in shame.

Joseph sat the rest of the breakfast in silence thinking of impending doom, cause he knew for sure that there were no A's or B's on his report card, not even a C.

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To be continued…


	3. New Jersey Part 1

Chapter 3: New Jersey Part 1

America stood passing in front of the living room couch, were New Jersey sat with his older brother Joseph. The two were currently waiting for judgment from their mother, after she had read their report cards.

"I just can't believe this" America said again placing his hands on his hips; this had been the same sentence that he had been uttering for the past 15 minutes.

"I just can't believe the nerve of you two, coming into this house with such horrible grades." He scolded glaring daggers into them both, Joshua couldn't help but wince. He had never heard his mother speak to him in such a manner. Joshua 'New Jersey' Kirkland-Jones was more used to his calm mother, the giddy one that showered him with 'I love you's' and 'You're such a smart child'. Yes Joshua was a very smart child even though he did get C's in school (which in any case was at least semi-good enough for his mother). He was a rather popular boy at school and was the head of the drama society, so it's not like he really had time to study. That's probably why he was here now; it's not very good that you get bad grades.

"Well mom look on the bright side, I at least got an A in Drama" Joshua cut in.

Alfred gave his son a dirty look "Yeah, well that's not good enough, **you used** to get _**ALL**_ A's. What in the world happened?"

"Well I-" but New Jersey was not allowed to answer.

"Don't answer my question while I'm talkin', you understand?"

*Silence*

"Boy, answer me!" America growled. New Jersey looked up confused "You want me to answer you now?"

Alfred rolled his eyes and sighed "New Jersey go upstairs and wait till you father gets here, then he's gonna talk to you" America said pointing at Joshua "Now as for you young man" he said pointing at Pennsylvania "You stay here and _**I'M **_gonna handle you."

The two brothers turned to each other, each capturing the image of pure horror and regret. New Jersey slowly rose from the couch patting his brother on the back and giving an encouraging look. As Joshua walked up to the third floor of his families mansion and down the hallway some of the other states pocked there out to see if the brother was still in one piece. As the state passed by Kentucky's and Tennessee's shared bedroom the two twins motioned him over.

"What do you two want." He huffed slightly irritated.

"Well there no need to get an attitude." The oldest twin Kentucky said in an offended voice.

"Dido, dido" Tennessee chirped in. That was the younger state's favorite line, his catch phrase if you will. Whenever Kentucky said something he agreed with, that was the line he always said right after.

"Well whatever. What do ya want?" Joshua asked again.

"What Ma gonna do to ya?" Kentucky asked

"Dad is coming over and he's gonna talk to me while mama handles Joseph."

"That's it!" Virginia cut in from across the hall "I thought that you'd at least get the belt."

Joshua stuck his tongue out at his little sister "Keep quiet big head nobody asked you to butt in" he hissed at her.

Virginia frowned at the common insulting name "Such a ratchet child" she commented back.

"How 'bout I bust yo fat lip." He threatened

"Children~" Gabriel called from her bedroom "Play nice or I'll have to call someone up here to restrain you."

The two states just gave each other one last hateful stare before New Jersey stormed off to his room that he shared with Joseph and Connecticut. When he entered his bedroom or as the other members of the family liked to call it 'The Forest' he found his little brother Connecticut lying out on his bed by the window reading a comic book. The younger state looked up from his comic book for a quick moment before returning back to the 'Adventures of Spiderman'.

"What's up big bro"

"Oh nothing much" Joshua replied "Dads coming" he said dryly. It wasn't like he didn't love his father, it's just that he _**did not **_under any circumstances _**like**_ his father. It wasn't anything personal, it's just that his old man hadn't been in his life as much as he should of and that went for all of his kids. And that wasn't entirely his fault some men just weren't meant to be dads, and that he had accepted a long time ago.

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England stood on the porch of the Jones family rummaging through his pocket for the spare key that America had given him in case of emergencies. He had gotten a rather stressed message from the American not too long ago and felt it his fatherly duty to handle the unruly children of his. They might not have ended up in such a state had the American had just agreed to let him raise the children instead. But of course the America refused, rather violently, and stressed the point that England didn't know the first thing about raising a child _**properly**_.

"_Well, who doesn't know the first thing about raising a child properly now!" _ England thought mocking America in his mind.

When England finally found the key and opened the door he found a rather frustrated America sitting on the couch muttering something under his breath.

"Estoy harto de todos estos chicos que me dan un mal rato (1)."

England gave a confused look to his ex-lover; since when did the younger male know Spanish.

Closing the door behind him got America out of his trance like state and he immediately looked up to where the British man was standing.

"There you are!" he said in a thankful voice "I've been waiting forever; your kids are driving me up a wall! Especially Joshua he came home with the worst report card I've ever seen! And don't let me get started on Joseph and Dela-"

"America" England said interrupting the everlasting rant "Please calm down, and talk slowly."

"No need for that just look at these." He said handing England 2 report cards. Arthur looked the first report card that belonged to the oldest and had Joseph Kirkland-Jones in big, black, bold, ink; with grades reading as the following:

Math – D

Social Studies – F

Language Arts – D

Science – D

Spanish – F

Computer Science – F

Health – D

Physical Education – D

Band – D

Then Arthur read the next report card :

Math – F

Social Studies – F

Language Arts – F

Science – F

Spanish – D

Drama – A

Health – F

Physical Education – F

Band – F

After reviewing the final report card Arthur just shook his head "This is just sad" he finally said "This just really, really sad."

"Good I'm glad you agree, now I can't go up there and talk to him because that'll just be the 4th time I've had to talk to him about this. And if he says something stupid or gives me some lame excuse I'm just gonna kill'm."

England nodded "So you want me to kill him for you, is that it?"

"Exactly"

"Can I at least get something to eat first?" he asked remembering he didn't get a chance to eat dinner before he came here.

"No"

"Bu-"

"No, means no. Now go." America instructed pointing at the stairs case.

Arthur sighed in defeat, and grabbing a baseball bat that had been lying near the staircase "Of course I'll be more willing to kill on an empty stomach; maybe I'll just eat the boy as a sacrifice. Who Knows?"

To be continued…

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Thank You for reading and please review, and reviews means faster updates!

(1) I'm getting sick of all these kids giving me a hard time.


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